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Tabard Pilgrims Cricket Club


Sunday, July 25 v Taplow.

By The Brothers Penthouse

The glorious sunshine warming our departure from Camp Tabard cooled into thunderous clouds and a fierce whipping wind as we approached Fortress Taplow. Somebody was sending us a message: this was not going to be easy – especially as we were only fielding ten!

All the same we remained in buoyant mood as we realised what a good looking bunch we are.

We put them in to feel the full force of the Clarence/Xero attack, but although they found runs hard to come by, they kept the rain of comets from hitting the stumps.

Lightning Phillips came on to swiftly remove the openers but a tricky left hander battened down the hatches to notch a few runs before having the twigs smashed apart by Marty.

The middle order started to fall with a memorable slip catch from Penthouse off Hansie’s bowling (memorable in that it was the first ever slip catch off Hansie’s bowling for the Pilgrims) before Clarence claimed his deserved wickets of tail-end sloggers.

Pilgrim fielding was pretty average, with countless catches going down. The score should have been considerably less and the chances of a Tabard victory much greater.

In future we should stop dallying about before the game and get ourselves out onto the pitch, do our stretching and get on with some fielding and catching practice. By doing this we will have our eyes a little more focused and those dropped catches will become fewer and farther between.

Back to the game…

With an achievable total of 164 for eight there was everything to play for.

Cue Pilgrims collapse! Something we have to put a stop to one of these days.

Little did we realise how fierce their openers would be or how bad we are at batting – even if we do look so good in our pads and gloves.

Hansie and Daisy were the chosen cannon fodder with Daisy returning shortly after the innings had begun. Marty entered into fray but returned to the clubhouse after his first delivery and Penthouse limped in to hopefully steady the ship, the younger Phillips running for him. Hansie returned after a gallant stand for seven with the light becoming a real problem for all.

Trisher knew he had to break a batting jinx that has managed to attach itself to him. All he needed was to score a run. His last few innings have been: score, duck, score, duck, score… “GOT’IM”… unfortunately he returned to the pavilion without troubling the scorer. Enough said!

Penthouse limped back on a measly six leaving the Pilgrims “inalottatrouble” on 13 for five.

Enter The Moggie, The Col and The Clarence.

Colonel gave his two penn’orth with some lovely shots for 14 and Clarence smashed several boundaries in a quick-fire 28. Little P didn’t have much to offer and managed to run himself out for nought in the most ridiculous manner, while Moggie – El Mogster – proved unflappable and remained at the crease for a majestic 44no. With the cold-heartedness of Ivan the Terrible – and Xero – he stared down the opposition bowlers with such disdain that several of them left the field crying.

Thanks to his wickedness and trickery we managed a draw – 119 for eight after what looked set to be a crushing defeat.

Well done to all for managing to get the draw but we really must start trying to protect our wickets a little better.

Man of the Match: Moggie

Presiding: Constitutionalist Xero

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