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Tabard Pilgrims Cricket Club

CROCKS SHATTERED BY BUSHEY ATTACK

Sunday, July 3 v Bushey.

By Tipple

It was an injury-ravaged rabble that assembled for the journey to the Pilgrims’ first fixture against the unknown quantity that was Bushey.

Kommander had a sore shoulder, Hansie a persistent leg injury, Tipple a pinched nerve in the back and Whippet a severe hangover and generally talking incoherently about opening the batting and bowling spin.

A fresh player had emerged in the form of the long-lost Pilco back from Nigeria for a few days and ready for his first match in almost a year.

Crisis

Shortly after arrival at Bushey, Clarence went down with a pinched nerve in the back during pre-match football with Hansie Jnr and the Pilgrims injury crisis continued to deepen.

The Bushey lot looked like a young, fit colts team and the general consensus was that an afternoon of leather chasing lay ahead as the Pilgrims took to the field. But this couldn’t have been further from the truth. Whippet and Hansie opened the bowling and a Pilgrim purple patch ensued.

Far from spanking the bowling to all corners and beyond the Bushey hut was a revolving door of batsmen strolling to the middle, taking guard, playing and missing and generally finding runs hard to come by and then ambling back shaking their heads. The fielding was immaculate: half chances became catches, mis-fields were non-existent, any balls on their way to the boundary were fiercely chased down, and Moggy had another solid day behind the stumps, including another sharp stumping.

Bamboozled

Hansie and Whippet’s spin and pace combination bamboozled the opposition, (one batsman left one of Whippet’s off-cutters, only for it to rattle the castle leaving him visibly trying to make sense of what had happened) and both were rewarded with plenty of wickets.

Clarence bowled very well despite his injury but unfortunately, while the pain in his back had eased enough for him to join the party, the batsmen weren’t good enough to oblige with an outside edge. The runs dried up and when the last wicket fell with Bushy on 125 the game was there to be taken and spirits were high over tea.

What could possibly go wrong?

Downhill

Well, Bushy’s batting may not have been their strong suit but they had a lively opening bowler (who, it transpired, had taken a Michelle the previous day). Daisy and Pilco opened the batting and after the first ball Penthouse joined Pilco at the crease as Daisy’s stumps were re-contructed. Pilco’s stumps were smashed by their other express opening bowler and things had very quickly started to go downhill.

The skipper put in another impressive batting display as Tesco and Butler came and went before Moggy steadied the ship and a partnership began to thrive. Then Whippet came along with drinks and the skipper’s and the keeper’s concentration were broken, both falling soon after.

With the score at 80-odd for six, reaching the target was a finely balanced assignment. Bushey had brought on the slower bowlers by this stage and Kommander’s, Clarence’s and Tipple’s eyes lit up. All three were bowled within a matter of overs without advancing the score significantly.

So it was left to the two star bowlers to show the Pilgrims the way home with the score at 94 for nine. Whippet looked solid playing defensively, looking like nothing would get through. Hansie meanwhile guided a shot expertly past third slip to the boundary and picked up a couple of singles courtesy of the runner the Bushey team very kindly let him take to the wicket, negating the need to feign injury on his already damaged leg.

Uprooted

The Bushey team sensed a historic comeback was on the cards and brought their opening pace attack back into the match. Unfortunately in a matter of balls Hansie’s stumps were uprooted and the Pilgrims had fallen short, all out for 100.

Overall it was a shame to lose after such a good team performance in the field and this was a game that was there for the winning – a couple more partnerships were all that was needed. Wickets weren’t protected well enough with eight batsmen being bowled.

Bushey were a good bunch of lads though and hopefully this is a fixture that can be repeated next year. They certainly seemed keen to have us back.

We did not announce a Man of the Match, but it was most certainly Whippet after his excellent five wicket bag and a stirring two not out.

Court Martial chair: Pilco

Fines levied: £15.08

Grazin’ with Daisy – or Daisy’s Teas

In Hertfordshire, a green bucolic pasture

I strove, the table’s provender to master

But too soon saw (I assure, my word is my bond)

The sapphire green turf turning into diamond.

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