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Tabard Pilgrims Cricket Club

ONCE UPON A TIME…
Bragging Rights in the West Conceded for a Year

Sunday, September 9 v Grove Park.

By Clint

GOOD …

A beautiful late summer’s day saw Perivale take the honour as host of the inaugural Chiswick Cup.

The only dark clouds for miles were those over the brow of our Club’s esteemed Captain, the victim of a vicious mobile phone mis-selling scandal that very morning. His mood was worsened still by a kettle and cups shortage fiasco, and by the presence of the Mines Advisory Group doing some last minute clearance on our pitch.

Eventually Grove Park were inserted to face the wrath of Juggs and Whippet, and what wrath it proved. Tools were downed after two overs and helmets fetched amidst mutterings of “Sabina Park” and “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Divine comedy it was not, but their openers provided the best batting of day to race past 50 within the first ten overs, despite the miserly efforts of Whippet.

A moment of magic from Gussie turned their innings spectacularly, however, as his direct hit from cover got rid of their dangerously hirsute opener. From then on it was one-way traffic. The Bishop bowled with Thespian conviction to remove the number three, Frodo picked up three good wickets with the help of two fine slip catches from Juggs, and Hansie RIP found masterful control to bag four notable scalps amidst a flurry of no-balls.

The Pilgrims had claimed all ten Grove Park wickets for less than 60 runs in 20-odd overs, a fine effort given the quality of this League opposition.

Amidst recriminations of jug-avoidance by Hansie, he having deliberately allowed their last batsmen to be run out, he was able to regain his standing and further burnish this good Club’s name by providing a very fine tea made up of a selection of custom-made sandwiches and cakes the like of which this summer has been crying out for.

Indeed we can now lay claim to the notion of own-branded cakes, as each of the little beauties (including the four found later in Junior’s bag) proudly bore the Tabard Pilgrims name. A stamp of quality in uncertain times.

… BAD …

Time for Pilgrims to stand up and be counted.

For the first time in the memory of those present the Pilgrims’ openers were sent to battle in helmets, but by now the pitch seemed to have calmed down a bit. Unfortunately this meant that the ball was staying low and not rearing up off a length, as Gussie was to discover with the score on two, the first of seven Pilgrims to have their timbers rearranged.

Penthouse looked comfortable before falling to another one that kept low, and Clint had a certain 50 snatched away from him by an appalling decision – unfortunately one of shot selection rather than an umpiring one.

The Kommander and Xero then got their heads down to try and wrest back control of the match, but when the Kommander was well caught by the Grove Park skipper, things looked bad.

And bad they remained. Some lusty blows down the order from Juggs were overshadowed by their Captain getting the last six wickets without a run being scored off his bowling, and the ’Grims were foiled by a measly 22 runs.

… UGLY

The Kommander followed up on a game played in excellent spirit against friendly and fun opposition by starting negotiations for a four-team/one-day Chiswick Cup tournament for next year. It was noted that these early soundings may bear sweeter fruit if in future the Kommander is able to keep his clothes on during discussions.

The finances of the club were then assured for a further week as Clint threw stones in glass houses in his capacity as Judge for the day

Man of the Match: Hansie RIP

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